Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I'll be back!!

See y'all in a few weeks. I am off on Thursday to sunnier climes and today is my last day at work.

I have crossed everything for you!!!

Pete, GO
Keep writing so I have lots to read when I get back.

Carol xxx

Monday, October 23, 2006


Oh lord, Christine has booked her wedding reception venue and she has asked me to give her away as her Dad is not invited!!

I know it is not the norm for a brides mother to give her away, but as I brought her up alone and she has asked it will be a great honour. I have no problem with it at all, but will I have to do a speech?

That thought fills me with terror. I hate speaking to a crowd, when I am nervous I do not smile. I am terrified people will think I am an old dragon. What do I say? I know I have to welcome everyone, tell the odd embarrassing story, welcome Petrus to the family. I really don't know if I can do it.

Well, I will do it, but I don't want to make a pig ear of it. I want it to be amusing and witty and SHORT.

I have 18 months to think of something and 18 months to stress about it.

I once went to an award ceremony and the group we were with asked me to do a little acceptance speech. At the very last minute I bottled out, I won't be able to do that will I?

Oh gawd. Help!!!!

Friday, October 20, 2006

Nanny weekend


I have been tagged by Caroline to list 5 little known things about me. I haven't found this easy as I am a very open person and assume people know most things about me, but here goes.

1. I have survived an abusive marriage.

2. I have a dolphin tattoo, done on my left shoulder when I was 35 and it took me a year to tell my Mum

3. I used to be a competition swimmer

4. When I was a lot younger I took speed regularly, but a bad experience scared me from doing it again

5. Despite my bold manner, I am actually quite shy. This sometimes comes across as being miserable and or stuck up

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Blog of note


Found this Policemans Blog. His last post had me in stitches. Go and have a look.

Coming to work

Coming to work this morning, in Holloway Road, the police had cordoned off the road.

There was a huge fire in a flat above one of the shops there. There was thick smoke everywhere. The fire brigade and police were in attendance and I had to cross the road to get past it and to work.

On the other side of the road, I had to pick my way through people standing there taking photo's with their mobile phones. One cyclist stopped purposely to do just that!

I know there is money to be made. During the London bombings the BBC were urging people caught up in it to send in their mobile phone photo's. Well I am sorry, but I think that is mercenary. If I had been unlucky enough to have been caught up on a bombed train/bus/platform, the last thing I would have done, is get my bloody mobile phone out to take a picture!!

As it was, I worked across the road from Aldgate station and just listening to the constant sound of sirens and helicopters flying backwards and forwards to the Royal London hospital was bad enough. Not once, out of respect for any dead people, did I even consider going out there with my mobile phone/camera.

But I suppose, that fire was news worthy.

Later, I went out for breakfast and noticed an ambulance up there. I really hope no-one died.


I love books. I favour a particular genre but mostly I will read anything, so long as it grips me from the beginning.

I am reading one at the moment. I won't name it or the author. Surfice to say, it has huge poster advertisements on the London Tube. It started off really well, but now I have had to put it down.

One of the characters, a big tough policeman who has spent his 40 odd years avoiding relationships because he just doesn't want one, has now met a suspect, kind of taken her on one date and thinks he is falling in love with her! Am I unromantic? I can understand he might lust after her because he thinks she is very attractive, but fall in love with her?

It has killed all credibility for me now and I have just skimmed the pages and put it down.

I do write occassionally, but I get embarrassed about people reading what I write so I usually just bin it. I am in no position to critisize anyone's writing, but I do wish authors would make it a little more realistic.

Anyway, all you romantics out there. Leave me a message and prove me wrong. Restore my faith in human nature and tell me your love at first sight stories and then maybe I will pick the book up again and finish it.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


I was readiung a post at Gentlemanoracle http://www.blogger.com/profile/31284248 and it reminded me of my school days.

As people who have read my posts before will know, I didn't really spend much time there. But there are 2 really good things to come out of school.
1. Meeting Sharon
2. Standing up to bullies

Sharon you know about, but the bullies you don't.

I passed my 11+ and opted to go to a grammar school. It was out of the area of my primary school so made me a target for the class bullies who had all come from the same primary school in the same area as the grammar school.

The main 2 culprits, J & D used to love making my life a misery and for a long time I took it, until one momentous Geography lesson.

I was sitting in the class, I had put up with the usual verbal abuse, but then J, who was sitting behind me, decided she was going to dig me in the back. Unfortunately she dug me right in between some vertabrae in my spine and it HURT like hell.

Now I have never really been violent, there have been some occassions when I have lashed out and this was one of them. To this day, I see it all in slow motion.

I stood up, swung around and socked J with the back of my fist. I REALLY put my shoulder into it. The look of horror on her face as she realised what was coming and couldn't stop it, was actually very satisfying. As my fist connected with her cheek, her head flew back against the wall behind her and she got a resounding crack both from my fist and the wall! I then told her very calmly never to touch me again. I sat down and continued with the lesson.

I am sure the teacher was aware of what was going on because he never said a word and just carried on teaching after the event. From that day onwards, J & D never bullied me again.

To my shame, they actually bullied another girl out of the class, and when we were sat down by the headmistress and asked to write names down on a piece of paper if we knew who the bullies were. I didn't. The truth was, I had never seen her being bullied, but it was obvious who had been doing it as they were the only 2 in the class who did the bullying.

I often wonder what happened to those two. They did try to be my friend afterwards, but I was friends with Sharon who was in another class, so didn't bother with them. Strangely I never did tell my parents, although I did tell my Dad many years later and he was amazed that I had not told him at the time.

I am sure, that if they do remember, they are probably quite ashamed of what they did then. Hopefully, as adults, they are nicer people.

It all turns out right in the end

I brought my daughter up more or less single handed. I left my husband when she was 6 months old as it was better and safer to bring her up alone. When she reached the tender age of 1 year, after much nagging from my mother, I went out and got myself a job.

Just as a little by line to that. How things have changed. I remember ringing one company who were looking for trainee recruitment consultants who told me they would not consider me as I had a young baby!! Imagine being told THAT nowadays eh?

Eventually, I was offered an interview at a company my brother-in-law worked for. They were a major stock broking company in the days before they teamed up with the big banks and lost their identities. I started off there working in the data inputting section with a great bunch of girls and eventually moved over to their switchboard as it offered a regular ending time. In the data input section I would have to stay until the last deal was input and sometimes that wasn't practical having a young child at home.

That job was EVERYTHING to me. It paid excellent money for it's day, I got summer and Christmas bonuses. In fact, when I finally got my own flat, it carpeted and furnished the whole place and left me enough over to have holidays. Those were the days. The 80's. Yuppies, lots of money about and stock broker bonuses.

Gradually though, things started to change. We were bought out by a big High street bank and we moved to better premises and after the initial 'loyalty bonus' we didn't receive such good ones anymore.

The rot set in after an ex partner of the company was put in charge of our department. He had come from the American department and was basically put there to pasture until his well paid retirement. He started off by sacking the supervisor after some made up misdemeanor. By then I was the senior telephonist and as the assistant supervisor was off with a pregnancy related illness I was suddenly in charge of this huge switchroom. I must admit, now I wouldn't bat and eyelid, but then, I felt totally out of my depth, and just carried on as best I could.

We had a temp there. I will call her Lin, she lived in cloud cuckoo land but was one of those people who came across really normal. Looking back she was a right psycho. She was truely awful. She would tell one girl another had said something about her and then tell the other girl that the first girl had said something about her. They were all lies and she got away with it! Then to cap it off we got a new supervisor who had blagged her way into the company without knowing a thing and she was just as bad!! I will call her Frances.

One day, Frances came towards me, screaming at me that she 'Didn't want me as a senior telephonist and while she was there, I never would be!!' All in front of the other staff. Very unprofessional and I honestly had no idea what it was I had supposed to have done!! The other girls looked at me with mouthes open and I just shrugged, I needed the job, I hadn't been paid any extra to do the seniors role, so what the hell.

In those days I was quite submissive, but I decided to just go along with it and see what happened. I did a permanent 8-4 shift, it suited me, but again Frances came over and demanded I tell her what my shift preference was. I knew she was trying to goad me, so I told I would do whatever suited her. She started to get flustered and asked me again. Again I told her whatever suited her I would do. As I was now an ordinary telephonst an 8-4 was fine or I would get on the rota. I finished the sentence quite sweetly by saying 'You are the supervisor, you decide'. Secretly I was laughing because it made her furious. She had come over trying to pick a fight (I later discovered it was something else she could get me sacked for)and I had made her decide, but because she had come from her other job without any supervisory experience, she didn't know what to do and the previous incident just showed she had no sense at all. A good manager DOES NOT chew off staff in public.

Well to cut a long story short, I was called into the office one day and the partner in charge was there along with a personnel officer and they sacked me!! The reasons they sacked me we all cooked up by Lin and Frances, except for one reason which I had a valid excuse for and it was hardly a misconduct offence anyway! I was devastated, but more so, I was ashamed. The shame of being SACKED was awful. I am not perfect, but I hadn't done anything near to a sackable offence. During the interview, the personnel officer offered to find me another job with a different company and then they paid me LOTS of money to go quietly. Guilt. They knew it was an illegal dismissal and so did I, but I still felt SHAME!!!

I didn't know what to do with myself. My parents were great and I had money. But I still felt no-one would ever employ me again. I am not good at white lies, especially at interviews, so I found myself being honest. Even after ACAS stepped in (They intervene before a case goes to a tribunal, and I had started proceedings) and we reached an amicable agreement, I was still penalised for telling the truth so in the end I was forced to tell a lie at subsequent interviews!!!
(Oh and for any potential blackmailers out there. My current manager is WELL AWARE of this story)

But what happened then? Well I found another job at another company. Was made supervisor and to this day, even though I eventually had to move on from there as they were shutting the site, I still regard it as the best job I ever had!! The people were great, my social life took off. I had my first and only case of unrequited love (One day I will blog about that).

As for Lin and Frances, they eventually got the sack themselves. Frances had to go temping under a different name. Lin went to prison for something or another, and I survived.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Another Classic

I am sure Sharon has blogged this but I will too.

Many years back, when I used to visit Sharon in Norway, the hi-lite of our week was the Drammen taxi queue, after getting quite drunk at Park dancing we would stagger off to the taxi queue in Drammen town square and join the large crowd of people. They were usually really good fun and we always found someone to talk to.

One evening Sharon and I joined this rather large queue and as usual started to chat to people. Among them, was a couple along with the boyfriends friend. The girl asked me in quite broken English if I liked Norway and I said, yes, I loved it and I was going to marry a Norwegian so that I could stay there! I was rather drunk and happy you see. She turned and pointed to her boyfriends friend and said:
'Why don't you marry him, he is very good cock!' I looked at her with this silly grin and asked her to repeat it. Again she said:
'You can marry my boyfriends friend, he is very good cock'
At this point I doubled over in hysterics, turned to Sharon and asked her to ask in Norwegian what the girl was saying. Sharon asked and was told in Norwegian, she was offering her boyfriends friends services as he was a very good COOK!!

Sharon then had to explained to her what she had actually said to me!!
Oh we did laugh at the mis-pronounciation, to me it was an all time classic!!

I never did find out if he was or wasn't, because quite soon we were at the front of the queue and a taxi arrived. Funnily enough, as we climbed in, all these little voices started chiming. 'I'll marry you' 'No, I'll marry you!!!' Alas I don't think it was my exceptional good looks, more likely it was the fact that finally, we had got a taxi!

crap shag

I don't know why I thought of it, but I was walking to the station this morning and I started thinking about my holidays last year to Jamaica.

I was musing about how a word can mean totally different things to different cultures.

As is apt to happen in Jamaica, we were befriended by some of the local men, and one guy in particular, Donald. He took a shine to one of our party and one evening offered to show us a bar we had heard about. We were walking down the street and he asked me if I had a cigarette.

I know it is a disgusting habit, but I do smoke and I smoke roll ups, so I offered to roll him one.
I duely rolled him a cigarette and gave it to him. He smoked it and then about 5 minutes after smoking it, he turned to me and said
'Carol, I didn't like that shag you gave me, I am not going to ask for another'

What could I say? At first I was a bit dumb struck and then I realised 'shag' is what they call rolling tobacco!! All my friends and I cracked up laughing and we then had to explain to Donald what 'shag' meant in England. I am happy to say, he found it funny too!!

Monday, October 16, 2006


I have just come from Les's blog and there is a mention there of Eastenders, so I thought I would do this little blog.

My parents live in Albert Square. It is in Stratford, East london and is not a square at all, more like an L shape. There used to be a pub on the corner (Now flats) and when I was a child it was called the Albert House.

During the early days of Eastenders (BBC, far too often!) there would be all sorts of people walking aimlessly around gazing at the houses, they were mostly foreigners and seemed to be looking for Dot Cotton and Pauline Fowler!! One Spanish girl got really upset when I told her it was filmed in a studio. My parents have been on the telly for a BBC documentary called 'The real Eastenders' and the last publican to own the pub as a pub, renamed it......... The Queen Vic!
(That's original, don't you think?!!)

It's mostly little old terrace houses, with some bigger Victorian ones and a few newer ones as it got bombed during the war. It is nothing like Eastenders on the T.V, mainly because the T.V version doesn't have that many ethnic characters in it! It is now the home to Pakistani's, afro Caribbeans, Africans, Indians and lots of Eastern Europeans. Real life. So BBC Take note.

I still live there Monday to Friday so kept my GP in London. When I was admitted to Leighton Hospital in Crewe, I had to give the address I was registered at with my GP. It caused great hilarity along with my cockney accent to the nursing staff, who informed me there was a woman from Coronation Street along the ward!!

I don't watch Eastenders at all these days, mainly because I live in the REAL Albert Square and the T.V version bores and disappoints me.

Mind you, I do look a bit like Pat..............................................

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

One for Sharon

Aw and not forgetting you love!


One for Knowley.

If you like both these versions, as I do, it makes interesting viewing.


My top 10 albums in my collection

Mezzanine - Massive Attack

The man who sold the world - David Bowie

Play - Moby

Leftism - Leftfield

Debut - Bjork

MCMXD AD - Enigma

X and Y - Coldplay

Joshua Tree - U2

New Gold Dream - Simple Minds

Strange Cargo Vol 3 - William Orbit

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


At last! The daughter has finally bagged herself a decent man and got engaged!

Oh the times she has walked into my home all starry eyed and introduced me to someone I knew was a complete idiot the minute he opened his gob.

The times she has sat sobbing because the current 'boyfriend' hasn't phoned/written/called around or done what he said he was going to do.

There has been the odd control freak. I can sniff THEM a mile off, despite the initial charm of them. (Control freaks, take note, it is very rare you can fool a mother)

Then there was Kai's biological father. I will refer to him as the 'The sperm donor' because since Kai's birth, that's the ONLY thing he contributed. In Fact Joseph Ospermdonor, I want to thank you for my lovely grandson, but other than that, you are dead in his life too! (Your words, not mine)

Oh dear, getting a bit irate there. Anyway onto better things.

I want to welcome Petrus to our little family. He is a truely wonderful bloke, for

1. Loving Kai and being his Daddy in the true sense of the word!
2. Loving Christine without makeup, with PMT, with all her little wobbly bits and temper tantrums!
3. Making them both feel secure and loved
4. Coming up with Christine when I was ill and doing the cooking, cleaning and babysitting so I could go to bed when I was knackered.
5. Lending her money so I don't have to anymore!!!

I look forward to having you as a my legal son-in-law sometime in the future. I don't look forward to how much it is going to cost though!! Although I know you two are going to pay for most of it yourselves I must pay for SOMETHING!!!

Welcome Welcome Welcome

5 Things Feminism has done for me.

That Shaz bird has tagged me so here goes.

1. Allowed me to divorce my husband AND have custody of my daughter.

2. Allowed me to have a career (?!! Lets not show THAT to the PERSONNEL department)

3. Allowed me to go to the personnel department and say 'Look there is a bloke doing the equvalent job and I want the same pay as him'!!

4. Allowed me to vote and own my own property

5 Allowed me to live a single life without being treated as some sort of odd ball on the shelf old spinster! Oh and to go without my bra when I waltz around Morrisons!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

My Top 10 songs that mean something to me

Beautiful day - U2 - O.K This one because after my baptism of fire on a canal boat holiday. One of the last days we had was a lovely sunny autumnal day and it came on the radio while Lucy and I were steering the boat and we started to boogie on down on the back of the boat in the middle of the country side as we travelled along. Also I played this a lot during a canal boat holiday I took with Sharon. We had a lovely Indian summer for that holiday and it was one of the best holidays I have ever had.

Insomniac - Faithless - Late night/Early Morning boogying in a Turkish Disco. This song ALWAY makes me want to go WEY HEY!!!! (And if it is on the CD player while I am driving I tend to put my foot down. Tsk tsk)

Blue Sky - Groove Armada - Nice mellow tune for a nice mellow mood

Down in the Park - Gary Numan - Gary coming out on stage in his little electric car, surrounded by dry ice and lights just floating around the stage.

Don't you forget about me - Simple Minds - Park Dancing in Norway, Norwegian holidays and Norwegian men!

Oh God - Annie Lennox - The words kind of sum me up. It has the ability to bring a tear to my eye.
http://www.lyricsdomain.com/1/annie_lennox/oh_god.html Sorry cant find the actual song

Come to me - Bjork - Lying on a boat in Turkey, hot sun, blue skys and crystal clear blue water.

Climbatize - Prodigy - Love the build up in this one. It makes me want to jump all over the living room. (Another tune that encourages me to go over the legal speed limit!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaMAmvv6FME

Ordinary World - Duran Duran - No particular reason for this. I like the words and I like the way they use it in Layercake. Although I am not a particularly violent person, the contrast to the song and the action make interesting viewing.

Angel Face - Glitterband - Oh I will always remember this song. Traipsing around the streets on hot summer days in the 70's from record shop to record shop trying to buy it and eventually discovering that it wasn't going to be released for another week! Then seeing Gerry Shephard on TOTP without Gary Glitter getting in the way!! God rest his soul!

I could actually go on to name loads more. Time to tag someone. Let me see.................................

Monday, October 02, 2006

Elephant man without Elephant

Elephant man without the Elephant.

But don't be fooled, butter does melt!

Spreading the word


Try this place. Great for hugs. We want kisses now!!!