Friday, January 25, 2013

Father Bathbun

I often refer to my Dad on facebook, as Father Bathbun. I have no idea where the expression comes from, all I know is, that way back when I was a child (yesterday in my head, my body is a different story) when my Mum used to hear my Dad come in from work, she used to say 'Here comes Father Bathbun' so Father Bathbun it is, all my friends on facebook refer to him as Bathbun!

Bathbun will be 88 next week, and still gets about, albeit creakily. He seems to have sunk into a malais since my Mum died 4 years ago, but tries to keep going to the point of stubborness. His life revolves around Morrisons, the doctors, the hospital and cafe Mondo (where, he assures me, they do a fantastic spicy pizza!) In a lot of ways, I am luckier than a lot of other carers, in that he can get about, still has most of his marbles and eats anything I put in front of him.

Recently he has had to face, what to him, is an ordeal. Sorting out my Mums estate. My Mum wrote a do it yourself will and at the time of her death, I looked at it and it wasn't dated. No amount of me telling him about it would convince him it was invalid, so when he took it to a solicitor he was told again, rudely that it was worthless. A friends father died intestate and I sat down with her Mum helped her sort out the paperwork, and within 6 weeks everything was finalised. My dad decided to let the solicitor sort it out and then promptly left it. 3 years ago he got a reminder. He didn't want to face it, and although I understand why, it was frustrating as he was just avoiding the inevitable.

This week, the solicitor contacted my Dad again and I think he has turned that corner now where he accepts that avoidance will not bring my Mum back, he needs to sort stuff out and move on with life again. He is going to face it, I have offered to go with him, but it is something he wants to do alone. I hope when it is all done and dusted, he will buy himself a nice bottle of Pussers rum and toast her good health.

Father Bathbun

3 comments:

Ayak said...

It's very difficult to deal with this at his age, particularly when the best part of his life was with your Mum. Let's hope he can get through it with as little upset as possible xx

Akelamalu said...

I hope your Dad gets it sorted. My youngest son (who is a trainee sollicitor) rewrote my Dad's will, at his request, just a few months before he died. It made things so much easier to sort out.

Carol said...

For some reason, my Dad went to a solicitor to get his done. I have no idea why my Mum didn't. I have a proper one done too. I must admit, it made me feel a bit creepy, but after watching heir hunters and owning property, I just had to get it done.