Monday, April 12, 2010

My Birthday present & The legend of Poo Bridge

Christine presented me with a photo album. On the front was a photo of me aged 14 months and as I opened it, there was a photo of my Mum and Dad with a little narration.

She had filled it with old photo's of me and friends along with little stories they had told her about me. One from my friend Sue cracked me up with laughter. Christine had decorated the photo of us with a ship in full sail. Many years ago I had gone on a boating holiday to the Norfolk Broads with Sue and her family, and as teenagers do, we had found an off license and smuggled a bottle of gin back to the boat. Needless to say we had both got very drunk, and as I climbed onto my bunk the curtain had opened and I swear I saw a ship with full sails just floating backwards and forwards and told her I was looking at a ghost ship!! Obviously it wasn't (although I have no idea WHAT it was but I did see something) and there it was in the album.

There were poems and photos of my grandchildren as babies and then a photo of a canal bridge along with a comment 'Poo can tell that story' So this is the story of Poo bridge. Its not pleasant but very funny.


I was with friends on our first ever canal boat holiday I have written about it here

On our last afternoon we had moored up by a pub and Christine (my friend)and I had decided to walk to the marina to get a paper. The marina was about a mile away along the canal and off we set. I suppose we were probably about 2/3rds of the way there when I was suddenly overcome by terrible stomach cramps and just knew I was not going to make it to the marina, I was desperate, and I am not going into detail, but surfice to say, deli belly had nothing on me that day. Luckily I shouted to my friend to keep a look out for boats and managed to find a little area tucked away by a canal bridge. I did the obvious and then asked my (usually) very efficient friend Christine 'Do you have a tissue on you?' She looked at me, felt in her pockets and replied 'no' So I am stuck there now are't I? So then I asked her 'Have you got anything on you to so I can wipe my ****?' Her reply was 'Well I have some bread to feed the ducks'.....................So I used the bread. Sorry ducks but I had no choice and if it is any consolation, the bread wasn't very fresh so left crumbs in rather uncomfortable places. So that bridge became 'poo bridge' and it is there in my album too which made me laugh even more.

Christine (My daughter) isn't working at the moment so she made the album and decorated it and I have to say, I laughted and cried. It has been made with lots of love and she has taken the trouble to contact a lot of my friends asking for stories and quotes and it is certainly the best present she has ever given me.


Akelamalu said...

Oh what a great birthday present! Tell me you didn't leave 'the bread' for the ducks when you'd finished with it!LOL

Anonymous said...

Now that's what I call a great story to tell the grandkids! Wonderful!
- Carrie x

LES said...

I just pmsl reading Poo Bridge. Glad you enjoyed the holiday but i honestly can`t believe your 50.
Hope one day we can once again gather around a cream cake for a chinwag.

Carol said...

Unfortunately I did only it was in a very tucked away spot so hopefully biodegraded!
Lovely to hear from you, how is the permanent mooring going?
Thankyou, there are times when I feel 50!! And a definite yes to the visit and cake. I will keep tabs on you.